There She Goes

when your heart stops beating by Magdalena Roeseler under CC BY 2.0.
when your heart stops beating by Magdalena Roeseler under CC BY 2.0.

When I was a little girl, my understanding of love and kindness was as innocent as my parent’s upbringing. Courtesy like ‘listen well’, ‘hold the door’ and ‘never let her walk home alone’ was basic principles, and neat little morality slogans like “do unto others,” and “treat her like a lady” were a matter of course.

I probably shouldn’t perceive myself as a “lady” as such (as with all generalizations they come with many connotations that I’m not sure I could live up to), but being part of a fluid dating culture I noticed how it might bend our perception of ourselves and the way we treat others. Not necessarily with the intention to be unkind, just because we easily turn individualistic and create our own “not-as-including” set of priorities, which we aim to live up to, preferably without too many distractions.

I’ve seen and experienced too much to ignore that it seems our dating culture is changing rapidly.  Although my happy Danish blood and romantic mindset heartily believes in a reality better than fiction, that the little things make the greater difference and that most problems start with ourselves – I’ve come to acknowledge that sometimes your knight in shining armor is also just a wrong fit wrapped in tin foil.

So – in order to challenge the excising and explore a reality potentially better than fiction – I decided to BeLeave:

The concept of a modern gentleman can only be found in one of two places: within the short span of insanity while falling in love, or somewhere else (maybe?) outside Denmark.

About the concept
In a small country, where the woman’s liberation broke through and equality became a reality early on, Danish single men, the sons of these strong independent fighting women, might have been scared witless; at least, being equal in Denmark has shaken up the roles of men and women and their interaction to a point where love is a loser’s game. Most of us applaud what the movement has achieved and appreciate the opportunities young women have today privately, politically and in business. However, while young women strive to live up to this ideal of an independent “do-it-all” powerwoman, we might unintentionally have killed every Danish man’s desire to woo or show any special appreciation towards women. We have become equal in all aspects of life.

Today, we see that more people than ever before go through a divorce, more people choose to live as singles, and in Denmark the birthrate is at a 20 years low, which presents a serious challenge, if we don’t start realizing the added value of reproduction and commitment.

In a country like Denmark, which is known as the happiest country in the world, home to LEGO, plus one of the world’s oldest monarchies as well as the fairytales of H.C. Andersen, it’s hard to imagine an unhappy ending, in which men and women do not play well together. So we use escapism heavily. Wander off to a fictional world of American television series, blockbusters and reality shows where the idea of ‘the better half’ is still a compliment and a value to nurture, instead of a threat to one’s own independence and freedom, which seems to be the general assumption to some Scandinavian men.

  • But will reality live up to the idea of the hospitable country of America where everything is possible?
  • Are there still real men out there who appreciate women and dare to take action and show them and everyone else the commitment?
  • Are Doctors as protective and ready to adapt privately as they have to be at work?
  • Do we find the key of appreciation hidden behind the entrepreneurial spirit and within artsy creations?
  • Is it true that men from Alaska are able to catch fish with their bare hands, and are there any differences between the man behind a hipster beard and a lumberjack beard?
  • Are there actual cowboys who look like the Marlboro Man and do women still in side-saddle in Texas?
  • Are there men out there whom will carry you over a pond and show they appreciate you, and do women remember to show their appreciation in return?
  • Is the notion of a Southern Gentleman real?
  • How much honesty makes a man?
  • And not least, if reality proves to be better than fiction, would you BeLeave? 

All of this and much more when Michelle BeLeaves…



Would you BeLeave?


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when your heart stops beating by Magdalena Roeseler under CC BY 2.0